evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
