That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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