I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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