u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
