maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
