yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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