Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
