well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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