it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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