I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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