Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
