I just pynch a tree in the face
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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