So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Randomize
