I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
