im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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