I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
