Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
