On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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