Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
