just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The air taste purple.
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