friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
