We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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