It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
