So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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