yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
