Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
