By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You are the jesus of drinking
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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