I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
