Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well you can't waste a boner
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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