There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
