So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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