i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
