Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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