It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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