Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
