Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
