Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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