Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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