I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
