Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
