That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
