I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize