I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
