I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
