Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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