U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How naked do you want me to be?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
