New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
