Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
