fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
