Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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