just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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