His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
