Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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