Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
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dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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