She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
