best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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