Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize