We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
