Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
